Alone
by Oh Moneypenny
Summary: Harvey is stressed, tired and vulnerable. For once, Mike is the strong one as Harvey takes a turn for the worse because he is so alone. Please read and review.


**I was feeling ugh earlier and decided to channel that into a vulnerable and stressed Harvey. Enjoy! Pop me a review if you have a spare moment. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Suits. What a shame. **

**Alone**

It wasn't clear to anyone, it couldn't be. He hid it so well, after all. Yet he was almost entirely alone in the world. Even growing up, he had isolated himself – not necessarily through choice but he set his standards higher from a young age. He thought he didn't care that he was alone in the world, yet inside him there was the occasionally pang of loneliness. Far too often, that pang was quelled in the wrong ways. Sex, alcohol and overworking himself meant that stress and lonliness bubbled just under the surface of his well groomed persona.

Harvey Specter's life was complicated. On the surface, he looked perfect. Ladies, and some men, wanted him. Many wanted to be him – wanted to have his success, ambition or good looks. Yet underneath the expensive suits and gorgeous half smile, there was hurt. Of course, he hid it well. He always had the smile tucked away ready to gleam and a witty response to smooth over any cracks that dared to show.

To an outsider, Harvey had been a cool guy at school. People thought he chose to sit alone, rather than the fact that he had moved through several groups of friends and never fitted in anywhere. It was partly his own arrogance; since he believed himself to be of a higher standard than everyone else yet who could blame him when the local pastime was going to the park and maybe playing a little softball. He felt unsatisfied at school, and the same feeling was starting to creep into his high-flying life as the best closer in New York.

He wanted his success; and now he had it. He wanted the bright lights of New York and he wanted the penthouse flat that topped one of the skyscrapers that dominated the horizon of the skyline. He wanted to sit behind the wheel of an Aston Martin and feel the rush of power as he accelerated. He had it. He had it all. But it didn't seem to have much worth any more.

Work was a case of storming the courtrooms again and again. It could almost be described as tedious as the challenge faded out of each and every law case. Harvey found himself being requested more and more by clients due to the promise of success. He used to promise that without knowing – he would survive on his own wits, yet now judges practically bowed to him because they knew there was no point in arguing with a lawyer like him. It weirdly stressed him out. He seemed to be losing his love of winning, the shine seemed to be falling off of it faster and faster.

He found himself tiring of the lifestyle. He started to feel regret slowly creep into his life. He wished he kept in touch with his parents; wished he kept in touch with friends and maybe not been such a dick at times. He considered the fact that he had a different person in his bed every night and it was no longer satisfying. He considered that he had the best whisky in his liquor cabinet yet it no longer tasted so fine. His laughter lines were now laced with stress, it was becoming harder and harder to summon that smirk and he was slowly regressing into a monotonous state of life.

He hid his worries from everyone: even Donna was not allowed into this secret of his life. To everyone, he was still the enigmatic and gorgeous Harvey Specter yet inwardly, he groaned every time he was summoned to have drinks with a client or every time another warm body in his bed didn't satisfy him quite the way they used to.

It hurt. It hurt to know that one's life could be so empty and just as Harvey thought he was going to break… he was saved. But only just. He was saved by a young man who had fire and gentleness and kindness in his heart. He was saved by a man with blue eyes and a heart melting smile – and an extremely stupid skinny tie.

He was Mike Ross. When their lives were put in context with each other's, Mike had had to deal with a lot more shit than Harvey ever had. His parents had died when he was young. It had cut Mike to the heart. His eidetic memory had saved every tear drop and every sleepless night forever – he would never forget it. He had grown up in the care of his grandmother, and there he had learned courtesy and sweetness. Something Harvey would benefit greatly from.

He had stumbled into Harvey's interviews and showed his quick mind to both Harvey and Donna. If he was stunned by the beauty of Donna then he was knocked breathless by Harvey. Being regarded by such sharp, dark eyes made Mike's heart skip a little bit. When Harvey passed the tip of his tongue over his lower lip, Mike had felt his entire body tense for a second.

At that moment, Mike was still an outsider to Harvey's secret pain. Naturally, as his associate, it wasn't his job to know such things. And as his associate, he didn't let on to Harvey that he was slowly falling in love with him. Every time Harvey came to lean on his cubicle wall, he would fizz inwardly and try to stop blushes reaching his cheeks.

Little did Mike know, he was about to be tugged into Harvey's private life in a way he had never expected. Harvey had been out in a bar, alone, knocking back whisky as if it were not the most expensive single malt the bar sold. He had dissolved into a pit of misery. He had cracked. He snapped at Jessica as soon as the clients had left the conference room; the strain in his voice was almost heartbreaking to hear as he had snapped. Jessica had given him a week off. Told him to take a vacation. He immediately refused saying he needed to work. She had sent him out, politely threatening to lock his office so he wouldn't be able to get in for the next week. He had growled and stalked out, and to the nearest bar with fine liquor. He found himself shuddering with held back tears and wishing for the vivid blue of those eyes.

Only once had Mike seen Harvey's place, but he was surprised when his phone vibrated around one on a Friday night. He frowned at his phone. Harvey had said they had no work over the weekend. Could a crisis have come up? This late? Mike immediately quelled the somersault in his stomach, wondering if this was non-related to work. The text from Harvey simply asked if he could come over. Nothing more. But then Mike didn't expect anything else.

Mike biked over there and it had started to rain. At Harvey's door he ran a hand through his wet hair, groaning that it was already starting to stick up more than normal. He tugged his grey shirt off of his damp skin although it fell again and stuck to his skin. He sighed as he knocked the door.

The door didn't open. Mike frowned and reread the text, making sure he wasn't imagining things. It definitely asked him to come over. He raised his fist to bang on the door again when it swung over. Mike gasped. Harvey looked so tired, yet a flutter of a smile crossed his exhausted face since the eyes he'd been craving all night were finally all he could see.

"Sorry," Harvey coughed awkwardly, "Sorry to bother you this late." He stepped aside and Mike wandered in, raising his eyebrows at Harvey whose eyes were dark with shadows and his forehead creased with lines. Mike frowned as he peered at Harvey, worry flickering in his eyes.

"Uh, Harvey, it's fine," Mike said, a soft smile creeping onto his face. "Why… why am I here?"

"I don't know," Harvey said quietly. "Jessica sent me home today."

"What? Why?" Mike asked, immediately more concerned than he had been.

"Exhaustion," Harvey said and turned away, walking towards the window. Mike was about to speak when Harvey continued, "and anxiety and stress. She told me to take a vacation."

"Why don't you?" Mike asked, quietly shutting the door behind him and coming to stand beside Harvey.

"Who the hell would I go with, Mike?" he asked, his shoulders hunching with rare self consciousness. He glanced up into Mike's eyes and turned away at the pity in them. He didn't need that, he just needed to get better and get back to work and everything would be okay again. His thoughts were cut off as Mike chose to make him better in the only way he knew how. He had never realised it before but they were almost the same height – Mike was a little shorter but only by an inch or two. Mike hugged him.

His arms came around him and held him with surprising strength. Mike pressed against Harvey, as if trying to press warmth back into his body. Harvey closed his eyes and let his head drop onto Mike's shoulder. Suddenly, he felt the force of the last few days… weeks… months… hit him. He felt as tired as he looked as he relaxed into Mike's embrace.

Mike couldn't help but smile when he felt Harvey's arms slip around his waist. They stood like that for what could have been a moment or could easily have been an hour. Harvey was practically purring in Mike's ear when he started brushing his fingers up and down Harvey's spine to relax him further.

"Talk to me," Mike murmured in Harvey's ear. It was weird, feeling Harvey lean on him. Usually, Harvey was so strong and held his head so high. Now, his hands were gripped to Mike's sides and his breath was soft against Mike's neck. Mike eased them back until he could fall back and pull them both to the sofa.

They sat side by side, Harvey's head on Mike's shoulder, as Harvey started to talk. At some point through the conversation Harvey's hand found its way into Mike's and their fingers interlaced. Harvey's voice spilled slowly into Mike's ears, and Mike listened more to the emotions coursing through Harvey's voice in anything. It seemed Harvey had been under this pressure to be perfect for a long time. And yet throughout it all he had been alone. Mike had turned his head to press a kiss to Harvey's hair while he talked, hoping he hadn't pushing things too far, but that simple gesture caused Harvey to pull him closer so that his head settled on Mike's chest.

They fell asleep hours after Mike had turned up at Harvey's door. Harvey's head was pillowed on Mike's chest as they lay, with Mike's fingertips drifting over Harvey's hip. They both woke to the rising sun pouring through Harvey's huge glass windows and Harvey raised his head off of Mike's chest. His eyes were still sleepy and a little disorientated. He looked down at the chest he had been sleeping on, where a solid heartbeat had thudded in his ear and for once he had been warm and comfortable.

But it was all wrong. He pushed himself up from the sofa and dragged his hands up from his hair. He started to hate himself all over again because of the look of rejection that started to float in those pretty blue eyes. "Mike…" Harvey choked out, as he staggered a little. His chest was so tight. And suddenly, sleep was on him again. Well, he blacked out but it felt like falling back asleep without the warm comfort of Mike underneath him this time.

* * *

He woke up in bed. His t-shirt had been removed as felt the brush of sheets against his skin. He groaned into the pillow, wondering how he had ended up here. He glanced at the clock. It was three in the afternoon yet the room was shaded by the thick curtains. He didn't remember drawing them, nor did he remember going to bed.

It came back in flashes. Mike holding him close. Them talking on the sofa. Their hands coming together. The softest, sweetest kiss to his hair. Being asleep on his chest. Waking up and suddenly, everything being gone.

But he didn't know if Mike had gone. Slowly, he came back to his senses and heard clattering in the kitchen. He staggered out of bed, and into the kitchen. Mike's grey shirt was crumpled and open over his blue t-shirt. His hair was rumpled from sleep as he stood making coffee, cursing under his breath at the complexity of Harvey's coffee maker.

"You didn't have to stay, you know," Harvey said quietly, clearing his throat to clear the sleep out of it a little.

"Yes, I did," Mike said quietly as he filled two cups with coffee and slid one to Harvey across the counter.

"Why?"

"Harvey! You blacked out on me!" Mike's eyebrows rose higher than normal. "You expected me just to leave after you fainted? Really? I know you said last night that everyone always left you but maybe there's one person that won't because they might just care a little bit."

Harvey gave a little ironic smile as he sipped his coffee. Mike sighed, "You're not as strong as you think you are."

"I'll manage." Harvey said softly.

"Sure." Mike said, sipping his own coffee to bite off any remarks he would have said.

"I'll manage… if you stay," he said, with a smile so soft it made his entire face tender. He walked around the counter and took a chance. After last night, he realised that Mike was the one that could make everything better. It seemed the denial of his attraction to Mike had just pushed all his stress up to another level but with Mike loving him… maybe he would be okay.

"If I stay? Of course I'll stay," Mike smiled, little did he know that Harvey was thinking about Mike in a way he'd never dared to dream of.

Harvey bit his lip before setting down his coffee and deciding to take a chance. After all, worry had crushed him so he couldn't sit and contemplate how Mike would react if he kissed him for too long. He took a step forward and kissed Mike's lips softly. He pulled back and muttered an apology with his eyes cast down.

Mike's heart fluttered. He gently took Harvey's chin in his hand and replaced his lips on his. The soft tension in Harvey's body practically thrummed when the kiss deepened. "I'll stay…" Mike whispered against Harvey's lips when they pulled back and Harvey couldn't do anything but smile. It was a full smile that reached his eyes, although Mike had caused him a few half smiles, this was one that was genuine. He felt happier than he had in months. He wasn't alone. He had Mike.


End file.
